Tuesday, October 22, 2013


Well I came down from my manic. First few days really sucked as I felt really low but I finally balanced out a bit and now I just am for right now and that I can live with that.

Of course I couldn't go without one small episode during the blah period. Thankfully it actually was based in something that needed to be talked about which did get talked about and actually improved said issue. I would go into more detail but as honest as I want this to be, that topic is really TMI. So I will leave it alone ;)

Also I was quite irritable and I get this feeling of sensitivity to my skin which always kind of wierds me out, like even being touched irritates me. Thankfully it only lasted a couple of days and then as I said I seemed to level out and now I am just *takes a deep breath and sighs* yea..thats about it. 

Anyway on to other things. SNOW!. We got our first snow today. A bit earlier than usual and I am excited that it may mean a big snow year for our winter. Snow is one of those few things that I find peaceful; angry, sad, mad, upset, watching snowfall just makes it all disappear. So yea I look forward to each winter and snowfall. Rain also has a similar effect. Sun and Heat make me want to strangle somebody. So living in Iowa is a pretty good place for me I think. 

So of course when I saw those big flakes falling from the sky this morning I actually was pretty happy about it despite the fact that I again can't seem to sleep at night and every time I try I wake with a headache.

October has been a busy month. Three of my daughters have birthdays and then of course there is Halloween. This year the oldest decided they are going to stay home and give out candy while the younger ones go Trick or Treating. Not sure if I am just going to get the guys to take the kids and stay home with the older girls or go with the younger kids. Meh I will decide when it gets here.

I am also making one of the girls costume, well half making to be exact..most of it is pre-made but I have to do the right touches here and there to turn it into the final product. Will be the first time I have used my sewing machine since I got it. A bit nervous to use it since it has been a while since I sewed anything, but sewing is sort of like riding a bike, you never truly forget how, you just have to remind yourself that you can do it.

So yea now I am rambling on a bit. Its late and I should be in bed but of course I am anything BUT sleepy. That will happen tomorrow around about 3pm because yea my body seems to think that is the time I should sleep. Grr.... Its okay though 3 months from now that will change and it will be like 8pm and then finally a almost normal schedule again..just to start the cycle all over again.

Anyone else have that issue..shifting sleep patterns. My daughter said she thinks it has something to do with the shifting of our episodes and she is most likely right since of course on a manic I hardly want to sleep at all and by the time I hit a low..its not that I want to sleep but sleeping is better than just sitting around feeling blah about everything. So yea I could see how that could totally screw up my sleep cycles..though I have tried over and over and over again to put myself on a schedule and nothing seems to help. 

Well that is the ramblings of a current bipolar chick up at 1am. If anything maybe I made you laugh. Its good to laugh, especially if you are as screwed up as I am in the head. Sometimes I think if I didn't laugh I would cry. Better to laugh I think.

Soooo..Night peoples. Stay Tuned, more insights to a bipolar mind coming soon. Take care of yourself and each other. Communicate..let me say that again for those who glanced over that word. COMMUNICATE. A key to your success and happiness. I will continue to remind you of how important that word is and what it can do. 


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